Struggling with a child that won't listen to you or won't do their chores? Read on for some easy fixes to this common problem.
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Yelling at your child is something that just comes as part of being a parent. It could be because you are stressed out or they have pushed you to the end of your tether with bad behavior. In any event, it’s only natural to have to raise your voice now and then. Making yelling a regular occurrence is never going to end well, as it can end up leading to more behavioral issues, not to mention it prevents your child learning about dealing with resolutions on their own.
Having a lazy child can be just as frustrating as having a bad tempered one. Again, yelling constantly to try and motivate your child is never going to work in the long term of things, and could very well end up doing more harm than good. Finding the right methods to motivate without constant threats and discipline is by no means and easy feat, but should you be successful, your child will all the better for it.
Write Down What Is Expected Of Them
Enforcing rules on a whim can make a child question them more so. Having them clearly displayed around the home means that there is no confusion as to what the parent is hoping from the. This can be changed and amended as necessary when they get older. It could start with simple acts such as brushing their teeth by a certain time or to tidy their room one day a week.
Lead By Example
If your child is lacking motivation getting up, doing chores or doing anything really, you can help them realize the positive sides to being a motivated person. A child is always going to replicate characteristics of their parents, so by constantly showing them how motivated you are to get things done, they should follow suit. Being lazy yourself will only result in your child mimicking this.
Reward Them With Praise And Special TimeMany parents fall into the trap of trying to bribe their children into doing what is asked of them when being lazy. Instead try to reward them with praise and time with their parents. Remember, all children really want is attention from their parents (more so if there are brothers and sisters around too).
Once they do something you have motivated them to do, tell them how well they did, that you’re proud, etc. – whatever applies to the situation. Offer some special alone time with them if they do as asked. Kids appreciate any one on one time they can get so this is a great reward without anything material being attached.
Even if they do not fully succeed, praise should still be given. This can apply to homework and studying in particular, as the effort made to actually study or do their work should always be given high praise.
Be Clear And Concise When MotivatingYelling will only show your children that your emotions cannot be kept in check and expressed properly. This is a trait your really don’t want them picking up from you. Instead show them that you can manage the situation and your emotions by remaining calm and collective when speaking to them.
Make it clear what you want them to do, and tell them this exactly. Say when it should be done by and that there are consequences of not listening (avoid threats) and that there is no negotiating this. They will clearly know what they have to do and what will happen if not followed.
For Chores, Provide An OptionProviding children with options allows them to feel a sense of control over the situation. Rather than telling them they have to do something, ask them if they prefer to do one of two options. Both will be a chore of some description, but the fact they feel they have a say in doing them will make them more motivated to listen.
Refusing to do what is asked of them when they have no choice is the only way a child feels they can assert some control on something. So remove the risk of this happening by offering choices. Even by asking them if they would like to do their chores now or in the next 20 minutes will give them a sense of having a say, giving them a better sense of control.
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